what a culture

Yesterday, Mikha, Ryan, and i went to watch Nina's Heavenly Delight at Powerhouse in occasion of Queer Film Festival. I was fascinated by the building as it was left unrenovated. I could see broken and unrepainted wall, with some modern touch here and there. It was so beautiful from the fact that it combined both wreckages and beautiful colours.

What fascinated me more was the audience. Before we went inside the studio, I realised that almost all (if not all) audience was female. I reckoned some of them were lesbians, from my subjective thoughts collected out of their appearance. Some with their partners. Some with their friends. Some looked girly or lady-like. Some looked masculine in-style. I spotted one student from a class at uni I go to this semester. For all this time, I wondered whether she was homosexual. But recognising her existence in this event did not prove any of my presumption.

So I went inside with a wave of ladies and what happened when I went outside after the movie? I found it really captivating when I walked out and saw these crowds of men. Yes, the movie after the one I watched was about gay, titled Boy Culture. Never, in my entire life, that I felt so strange yet relief that I found it quite... normal, despite what culture says about homosexuality. I've never thought it was an abnormality, and probably my feelings when I was exposed to the homosexual culture (not as much as I want to speak out that it is a culture, as there are still some that I believe are predisposition factors, not nurture or mature decision) upheld my cognition, hence, I felt relief.

It occured to me that I had had feelings for two guys, and apparently they were gay. And the fact when I realise I have fondness of beautiful men and handsome women makes me wonder. Am I, also, affected by the coming-out humanity group? I believe so. It struck me when I got to the point that, yes, they are like us. Not just like us. They are us. And we are them.